Sometimes depression begins after a traumatic event. Sometimes it begins out of nowhere But it always creeps up on you slowly Some symptoms of it in the beginning when it starts off is losing motivation to do things, becoming uninterested in the things you used to love- everything just feels like a chore, you don’t want to clean anything up, you don’t want to wash your face, you don’t want to do anything. You tell yourself “it’s just a bad day” until it continues for weeks, months. It swallows you. You’ve become stuck in this negative, depreciating state of mind that is depression. Days past where all you do is the bare minimum, some days will be good, but deep, deep down you still don’t feel happy. Because how can you be happy when you don’t truly feel joy from anything? All you feel is temporary entertainment. Then, some days are harder than others. You fall even deeper and you don’t know how far down rock bottom can get but all you know is that it’s so deep other people can’t just reach in and drag you out- even if they try to. So you push them away. Your friends, your family- everyone. At this point you don’t even do the basic most essential tasks anymore even when they’re mandatory You might hear people calling you lazy or stupid or tell you to try harder But all you can think is “why would I keep trying if nothing will make me happy anyways?” To other people it seems like you have no reason to be sad you just have to try more What they don’t understand is that you can’t just make your emotions stop eating you alive And at this point you feel tired. Of everything. You’re ashamed of yourself for hurting the people closest to you and guilt for everything you’ve done and even things you haven’t done It’s unbearable It’s suffocating. You remain standing still in a world that will forever continue to move- even if its without you. And at this point you feel as though you only have two choices left you could decide to get help from those around you or maybe professionally or you attempt a suicide. And if you already feel like you have no purpose in this world anyways, the answer is as clear as day- to you, anyways Because that’s what living with depression; is like you feel like you don’t have any other choices- but you do. You always do. Because even in the darkest nights there’s still some light. There are always suicide hotlines for immediate help and free counseling services for long-term help. If you or anyone you know align with these symptoms seek help before something irreversible is done.