What's the difference between being controlling vs. giving good advice? Mondays With Mike

What's the difference between being controlling vs. giving good advice? Mondays With Mike



hi I'm Mike Staver this is money's with Mike but weekly video series where i answer questions for people like you here's this week's question dear mike my colleagues and i were recently discussing how to balance being controlling with letting people be creative and empowered how does a person know if they're being controlling versus just giving good direction well the fact that you're asking this question probably indicates it you're just a tad controlling here's how you know if you find yourself intervening in areas where people have demonstrated expertise or demonstrated competence and you keep giving direction you're being too controlling if you intervene when people need help and that their performance or their life indicates that they need help then you're just giving good guidance you know if your child isn't doing well in science and you get them a tutor for science you're not being controlling you're giving good guidance in your assuring help if your child is really good at math on the other hand and you hire a tutor for them in math you're just being a control freak and impossible to please so what you want to do is you want to look at the people around you who your allegedly helping right and say am i adding real value to help them achieve whatever their goals and results are if you do that you're just giving guidance if on the other hand you're involved in things where people don't need help they don't need advice they're really doing well then perhaps you're being too controlling so observe behavior and respond accordingly so if somebody the other day as an example came up to me after a talk I gave and said you know have you ever heard of smart goals I've been doing this 20 years yeah I heard some articles so rather than ask me or think through let me see this guy's been doing this a long time they started giving me advice about something I should do on a talk that was controlling it wasn't helpful if a person said they couldn't hear me very well in the last segment and i jested the mic and that kind of thing they gave me guidance which was helpful hope that clarifies it I'm Mike staver this is money's as Mike see you next week


One thought on “What's the difference between being controlling vs. giving good advice? Mondays With Mike

  1. Hi Mike, I like this question. Would it also be a good idea to ask the person, "Is my input helpful for you or am I being a bit too controlling?" Our perception may be different than the person we are trying to help and it's good to hear their perspective. Thanks.

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